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The world is a little dimmer without your bright smile.
Coady, your mom misses you daily. There isn’t a moment in time that I don’t miss your beautiful smile and long to hear your voice and your joking and teasing. Buttons and Mollie even miss your teasing. Sam and Larry miss you too.. I love you dearly and know that I will be happy to see you again in heaven. It is true that if tears were stairs, I would have enough for step right up to where you are now and could hug your precious self and tell you how empty my life is without you.
we miss you coady! its not the same without you “nemo” -chris and whitney
I was just thinking about Coady, so I thought I would come and leave a message. I Love and Miss you Coady. I hope everything is great in heaven!-ashleigh
Thanks guys for leaving your comments to Coady, please encourage all his friends to share their stories on his website, this way we will keep his memory alive until we can all be together again. I know you all miss his smile and his personality, I know it is a challenge each day for me to find the courage to go on without him. I look forward to hearing from all of you.
Coady’s mom
Well fall is arriving and soon the leaves will change. It hardly seems real that my sweet sweet love is not here to see another season. I can hardly believe that it has been almost a year without him. Only God knows how I have made it without him. I see his friends in town and my heart squeezes tight at the thought of not seeing him with them. I am proud to see his buds going back to college at starting new chapters in their lives, but at the same time, my heart breaks that he won’t be part of that. I know he is watching all of us from above and smiling down on all of us with his beautiful smile and wanting us remember him with warmest thoughts and try to overcome the tragedy of him being a victim of a low life scumbucket. We will know the healing process has begun when we remember the good times more and the sadness of his murder less. I know we will never forget, but with God’s will, the hurt will be replaced with our wonderful memories of him. Pray that God will vindicate his murder and that the bum responsible for his death will be punished now and eternity.
Coady I miss you so much! I think about you all the time, and how I wish we could just go back to junior high or high school and talk on the phone forever. I still feel like I’m going to run into you someday. I will never forget you buddy or the memories!
I Want To Stroll Over Heaven with you some glad day.
When all the troubles and heartaches have truly vanished away.
We’ll enjoy all the beauties where all things are new,
I Want To Stroll Over Heaven with you.
Coady,
You are my angel now. There isn’t a day that I don’t think about you and our memories together. Matt and I tell our stories about you all the time and listen to all the music that I can still see you dancing to! I miss you constantly. You were they most amazing and loyal friend I will ever know and I can’t wait until the day that I will see your gorgeous smile again. I love you.
Ab
I have made a woman’s t-shirt for Coady that says “Coady is my Sunshine.” I just wanted to share the website for anyone that may want one. If you would, email me and your size and I will be happy to get one for you.
aharri11@uafortsmith.edu
http://a.customink.com/lab/?E=aharri11@uafortsmith.edu&F=sunshine3&BN=true&CIBU=1&S=
Merry Christmas Coady, I know I saw you bright and shining in the Sky in Heaven on Christmas Eve, I know that was your way of telling me you were there. I went to Michael’s this year since you weren’t here. There were no traditions kept this year, things that we have done since you were born, nothing was the same. It will never be again for me and I am sure for your Dad too. My mind kept playing over and over last Christmas and all of us sitting around the living room watching you play videos and talking. What I would give to have that time back. If I could just turn back time. I would have made those pictures of us in our pj’s, and I would have held on to each moment like it was gold. I would have never let you out of my site. I would have kept you safe. As your 21st birthday nears, its hard for me to imagine my life without you here. Your whole future was before you, life was just beginning. Now I feel like mine is ending, I always said if anything happened to you that they would have to bury me with you, and after my birthday and I was not able to hear your sweet voice tell me “Happy Birthday Mamma” or read some silly card you had gotten, or see your smile at Christmas, and now I feel lost not knowing how to go on, for 20 years we planned your birthday and what to get you to go with the Christmas presents we had gotten, I don’t know where to go or what to do. I am so lost without you. You were my world and my whole reason for living. With every young man’s face, I am constantly looking for you, I look for your truck going through town, I see young families and my heart nearly squeezes in to, because I know I will never see your eyes or your smile in my grandbaby’s face. I will never see your heart swell with pride at your child, the exact way your Dad’s and mine did. My future feels so empty without promise or purpose. I love you Coady man and miss you terribly. Momma
Today is your 21st birthday. This would have been one of the happiest days of your young adulthood. It is still so hard to believe that you aren’t here to share it with all of us and your friends. We all miss you so much and our lives are so empty without you and your bright smile and sense of humor. I know that God has something great planned for you there, I just wish we could celebrate it together. I love you baby and I want you to know that you are the best thing that ever happened to me and your daddy.
Hey buddy, my first instinct is to say Happy Birthday. But instead I know you’re somewhere in that great blue sky looking down upon us, and that you’re in a far better place. Our lives will be but a flash in time compared to the time we will one day spend with you.
Until then, there’s a hole in our hearts where you were, and we miss you very much.
Love you, Uncle Mike.
Today is the date that my world stop turning 1 year ago. Coady it doesn’t seem possible that you have been gone from me for a year. My pain is still just as deep as it was the day I found out that a mother’s worse nightmare had come true. My heart will never be complete again here on earth. The emptiness will always be there and it will be a struggle to force a smile when inside I have died. I miss you so much, I just don’t know how or why I wake up each morning without you here. I feel like I have failed you as your mother, I couldn’t protect you from the low life scum of this world, and I had no power to defend your memory when it came time for that sorry human being to pay for what he had done to you. I can only pray that God will punish him for the rest of his life. I feel like I was a failure at the most important job that God gave me to do. I am so sorry. I can hardly wait to see you again, if I didn’t wake up tomorrow it would be a happy day for me, because I know that I would be looking into your smiling face. Life here holds nothing for me now. You were my life and my love. I miss you babyboy.
Love Momma
Hey buddy, I have some more bad news to tell you. I know you already know, but we had to have Larry put to sleep. He just got so old and his kidney’s quit working. He was in so much pain and they told us there wasn’t anything we could do for him. I just almost killed me to have to do it, it seems like I am losing everything associated with you. We lost your guns, games and hunting stuff, and now Larry, it just seems like everything is disappearing. Sam is so sad and lonely, but I know how he feels because I am so sad and lonely here without you. We buried him by Shadow and we have him a marker just like we got Shadow. I know you would have agreed we had to do it had you been here, and I know you were looking down on him waiting for him to join you as he breathed his last breath here on earth.
I miss you terribly, I don’t know why I am still here. If I could but see your beautiful smile and hear your voice, life would be so sweet again. Momma loves you.
Well Coady man, summer is arriving and the end of another school year has come and gone. Everywhere I look I see Seniors and such in their gowns and tuxes and it seems like only yesterday you were there. I catch myself looking at them to see if any of them are as handsome as you. None will ever measure up, you were the most handsome young man your momma has ever seen, your smile would light up the world. I miss seeing it so much. I miss you so much. With the weather getting warmer, I think of you going fishing and hearing your fish stories never got old. I just wish there were more of them to hear. I miss you terribly and it just keeps getting tougher each day, just the realization that you aren’t here is getting more and more difficult to face, it feels like it just can’t be true. I see your friends, and they are all enjoying their lives and you should be too. I just don’t understand why? You were cheated out of so many things in your future. And your momma’s dreams don’t exist anymore, without you, there is no future. You were my world and I can’t imagine life here without you. I don’t even try to think of tomorrow, I do good just to get through the hour. I hope if you are listening to your mom’s heart, you will give me the strength and the courage to go on. I miss you and love you.
Hi Coady,
I was just thinking about you on this beautiful day and decided to come and see what was up. I miss you and think about you more than YOU would ever think. I’m praying for your family to have strength and faith and I hope you are down here looking upon them telling them everything will work out in the end!
Ashleigh
Hey buddy, I wanted to let you know that we had a nice stay in Destin. It was beautiful weather there, I am sure you already knew that. It was so hard to go there because the last time I was there was with you. It was so hard to look at the kids in the water or building sand castles or hanging out at the arcades. All those things brought back such memories. Every young boy I saw reminded me of you. Then I would see young men all hangin out under the umbrellas and being cool and I would think ” That could be Coady, if only” My “if only’s “just seem to be at every corner. We stayed at a really cool resort/rv park, you would have liked it. All the people there were so nice. There were so many kids and it was fun and painful all in the same breath. I would be so afraid someone would ask me if I had children, and I just don’t know how to answer that question right now, I fall apart at that question and can’t seem to get any kind of an answer out to anybody, then everyone is so uncomfortable after that. It is just hard being left here without you. You will always be with me in my heart, so I answer yes, I have a son, then they will ask how old you are, and it just goes down hill from there. I just don’t know what kind of answer to give. Then I get angry all over again at what that scum of the earth has done to us as a family and to you and what he has robbed you of. My anger grows each day and it has expanded to the idiots that were involved. Sandy, Melvin and all involved will pay in the end, I assure you of that. My anger will consume me one of these days and I will find my own justice for the people that were there. I pray that God strikes them all dead and that they burn in Hell. I pray that I live long enough to see God vent his wrath on them all. I miss you so much and it is harder each day for me to imagine the rest of my life without you. I love you baby.
Summer is here Coady, I am sure you know it. It is hot and humid and the grass grows almost overnight. I look across the lawn and can see you on the lawnmower, in high gear, mowing just as fast as you can to get it done. I remember our arguments on when you would mow over my plants, and how you would tell me you were sorry,no telling how much money I spent replacing the plants you and Joe mowed over. I couldn’t yell at one, because both of you did it. Every where I turn I see you, on the mower, in the boat, we tried to get it out the other day, it’s the first time we have moved it since you left us. I don’t know that I will ever pick up another fishing pole. It just doesn’t seem right without you here. I walk past your bedroom, and although I have tried to change it, I can still see you laying on the bed sleeping. I find myself going into your closet just to get a smell of what you smelled like when you were here. Sometimes I will spray your cologne just to get a brief hint of when you were here. You always could put a smile on my face, after my eyes quit burning, with your baths in your favorite scents. You didn’t need that good smelling stuff to catch the girls, you were so handsome…I wished things had turned out so different for you, but that scum bag will pay, now or later, he will pay. I keep hoping to get a call saying that someone has slit his throat and he has bled to death, it is what he deserves. But he will pay. God will see to it. I miss you so much. I love you…momma
Hey Coady,
There hasn’t been a day gone by that I haven’t thought about you. The 4th of July is nearing and its crazy and how its become a tradition up there to catch chickens and hogs. But they just won’t let me do that anymore, something of that I am too old. This past weekend I was crowned the rodeo queen for Yell Co. Yup I get to represent the great Yell Co. I miss those days that our families used to get together and cook out and we would play games. Guess you were the reasons why I got good at playin those board games, well I ain’t all that good anymore. Well I guess I better go. Was just thinking about you and thought I would write. I love your family soo much and miss you lots.
Fall is here and it brings dark clouds and more emptiness to my soul. I don’t know if its the dread of the seasons coming and you not here to celebrate them with me or the fact that you have been gone for almost 2 years. Things just dont’ seem to get any easier, my loss feels greater and greater as each season comes and goes. I wonder if you miss us here, if there are times that you wish to hear my voice or your dad’s, or maybe to see our face or hug and hold us. It seems like forever that I have felt you hug me and tell me you love me. There are days I go into your closet just to smell you. Some of your clothes still hold your scent, I think you wore Eternity most of the time. I can’t go into the store and smell someone wearing it walking by that it doesn’t nearly bring me to my knees. I see young men running around all over town and their arms may remind me of yours, or their hair, or maybe its just their clothes and I think, My Coady would be wearing something like that. I don’t know if I will ever stop comparing other young men to you or looking into their faces and seeing if there is anything of them that might remind me of you. I just don’t know. What I do know is that I miss you so much. There is nothing on this earth that could hurt me as much as losing you has. I just pray that God seeks his revenge on the man or scum bag that took you from me. It is the hardest thing for me to do is to sit back and wait on God to make him pay. I pray that I will have the strength to wait on God and trust him with this. There just isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for you. I know you know how much your mother and dad love you and that we miss you every second of every day until we are together again. Love momma
Hey baby, Christmas has come and gone, it just didn’t seem real without you here. In my mind it just kept playing over and over the last Christmas we had here with all of us together. How I wished I had let Uncle Mike take out photos in our pj’s. I put a tree in your room with all your ornaments on there. I can’t believe that there will be no more to add for you, or what I will do with them when I am gone. Who will they mean something to when that day comes?? I had always imagined giving them to you when you got married and had your own family, and then starting the tradition all over with your children. I still can’t understand why we were robbed of this treasure. I see families with their kids and grandkids and my heart breaks into a thousand pieces. Christmas will never be the same for me without you here, as well as every holiday and every day. I miss you more with each passing moment and I wished I could reach out and touch your beautiful face and see your smile, or hear your voice call out my name. How I would love to give everything I have to have the identity of Coady’s mom again. I love you.
Today is your 22nd birthday. How I wish you were here to celebrate this day. I miss you so much and I hate the man that robbed you of your life. I pray God will strike him down and he suffers his entire life. He doesn’t deserve to live. I dedicate this beautiful poem to you on this day my sweet baby boy.
“MEMORIES”
Reach deep inside and take one of your precious memories. Wipe away the cobwebs, lay it out in front of you, and let the sunshine and the sounds engulf you. Revel in the experience of it.
Relive each precious moment, be overwhelmed by them, and taste the wonderful sweet tears that are their gift. When your needs have been almost satisfied pause for one more second.
Then gently fold it back up, give it a big hug and a tender kiss, and return the treasure to where you found it. Then to make the experience complete, find someone special and share the feelings with them. For surely something as wonderful as this is meant to be shared. Don’t be afraid of using them–that’s what memories are for. You will never lose them. For as certain as the sun will rise tomorrow, love once attained is never lost. (by Steve Channing)
Thank you baby boy for such wonderful memories. They are all I have left of your hopes, dreams and life.
Love Momma
I only wish you were here to celebrate your birthday with us. I’d love to see my sister smile the way she used to.
Sissy, you’re poem is beautiful.
Spring is here Coady, I am sure you know that where you are. This weekend I thought of you so many times. With the weather so warm, I could see you coming in to get your fishing pole and head out fishing, or see your skinny little bird legs poking out of shorts for the first time since summer. You always loved the first warm days that made you put away your winter things and grab anything that reminded you of summer…All the kids are planning their big spring break get a ways, and how I wished you were here to plan one with them. I can hardly watch the kids get all excited talking about their big plans. I miss you so much…
Graduation has rolled around again, and I see the kid’s pics in the paper and some of your classmates back home from college. I ran in to Matt Bubbus at church the other day, still looks the same and still in to everything….Matt P continues to improve and I hope and pray he will just keep on improving. He gave us all a scare, but I knew you were right there with him keeping him company in spirit and telling him to hang in there. I go to your closet and look at your graduation stuff and I can’t hardly believe you aren’t here with us. Sometimes it feels like it is going to knock me to my knees and my breath leaves me when I think about you not being here with me, it still seems so unreal. I miss you so much and I hear you calling “mom” all the time in my dreams, I hope your voice never dims and I can always hear it. I love you from here to infinity and beyond….mom
You are on my mind every minute of every day…I love you.
Remembering
Go ahead and mention my child
The one that died, you know
Don’t worry about hurting me further
The depth of my pain doesn’t show.
Don’t worry about making me cry
I’m already crying inside
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.
I’m hurt when you just keep silent
Pretending it doesn’t exist
I’d rather you’d mention my child
Knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I’m doing.
I say “Pretty good” or “fine”
But healing is something on-going
I feel it will take a lifetime.
By Elizabeth Dent
Coady, Mom hasn’t been on here in a while and left you a message or shared one of our stories with your friends. I am sorry….you are never far from my mind and are always in my heart and thoughts. I can’t count the times that you are in my mind, a truck will drive by or a young man will smile and it remind me of you, or a smell in the air will bring back something that we have shared, just any small thing and you are right there as if you have never left me. I miss you so…I love you to infinity and beyond….
Hey Coady, i just thought about you the other day.. i was hanging out with Wewers some of the guys from back in the day.. and we started talkin about old times.. We still miss you man, and we still think about you. You wont ever be forgotten. We know your up there smilin down on all of us and one day we will all be hanging out together again.
Happy 23rd Birthday Coady! I still miss you!
Happy 23rd birthday baby….You should be here celebrating it with me and your friends. Damn the man that took you from us…Damn him to hell…Know that I love you and miss you terribly.
Hey man, I just wanted to say that everyone misses you everyday. I think about that last time we hung out almost every day and i can’t help but feel saddened, but then i remember all the good times i was able to share with you. You were a great friend and a wonderful person. You will always be in our hearts. Keep it real up there bro.
Hey baby…Spring is around the corner. We’ve had snow here and it seems like only yesterday that you were always wanting it to snow so you could get out of school….I remember our Spring Break Trips…how I would love to have them again….Missing you forever…mom
Hey Coady. I really miss you man. I stopped by to tell you happy birthday. I know I’ll see you again in Heaven. I can’t wait buddy. You know I still love you like you were my own brother. You might as well be. I love you man.
Hey buddy, I was working on your website today and remembered the time that you and Sissy and Mom came to visit in Philly. We visited NYC the day after Thanksgiving and it was so busy that we all had to hold hands crossing the street in Time Square just to make sure we didn’t lose anyone. You got to see the Statue of Liberty, the World Trade Center and the Empire State Building. I’m just glad we got to take that trip together, and you got to experience so many things in your lifetime that some never do.
Hey baby, fall is here again and Halloween is right around the corner. I remember just about every costume that you dressed up in. The one that comes to mind the most was the year you were a teenage mutant ninja turtle. And of course the fact that nana would just get you a bag of Minature Reese cups!!! Those were your favorite. Dad has your truck up and going again. I know it brings him so many emotions. Grandpa has his new house. He is still so sad about loosing all your photos and things that he and your grandma had together. Know that I miss you terribly and long to see your beautiful smile again. Loving you always. Momma
Coady, Darrel came to be with you today, one more buddy by your side. My heart breaks for his mom and dad and sisters…I know ya’ll both have big smiles on your face to be together again….our huge loss is felt deeply until we can all be together again. We miss you boys and love you with all our hearts….may God give his Mom and Dad the peace that only he can give.
Hey buddy. Happy Birthday sorry I couldn’t stop by but I’ve been really sick. I’ll stop by when I get to feeling better. Love you man
Happy Birthday Coady!!! 24 years ago today you came into my world and made me complete. I love you and miss you so much….I know you and Darrell are having a celebration in heaven….I miss you here….every day and every minute….there’s a hole in my heart that will always be there for you…it will be complete again when we see each other in heaven…I love you to infinity and beyond….
Today 4 years ago, my world stopped turning. My life ended along with yours. Know that there isn’t a day or a moment that goes by baby that you aren’t on my mind. I love you and miss you.
Coady, just want to let you and Darrell know I’m thinking about you guys! I know you both are in a much better place. You two were very special to me. I know Blake is really going to miss you guys being at his wedding, so make sure and watch it with my Dad!!! Thinking of you always,
Tracy
Hey man. I just recently found this website a few weeks ago and have been trying to think of what to say. It seems like yesterday that we were playing Gran Turismo or playing football in the yard with uncle Bobby. I remember always having to wait for you to get up so I could play the playstation and show you all the new stuff I learned how to do! I miss you a lot man. I cant wait to walk into heaven and see you smiling greeting me with open arms! I Love You and I know you look down on me when I’m on the football field playing and bragging to all your friends of how proud you are of me. Cuz all 48 minute I’m on the field are played for you!
Hey man! It’s me again. I really need your help on this one. I know you will make sure I’m led in the right direction! Thanks and I Love You!
Hey baby, just wanted to drop you a line and tell you how much I think of you. I still miss you more than you can imagine and there isn’t a day that goes by that you don’t consume most of my thoughts. So much has changed, but I know you know about them all. I know you are watching over mom in heaven and there are times I can hear your voice and here your “mom” and shake your head. I miss you so much. It doesn’t seem possible that it has been almost 5 years since I have seen your beautiful smile or heard your laugh. You are and will always be the love of my life. Love you to infinity and beyond…….
Facebook family and friends I need your help!!!! I need you to help me keep Coady’s murderer in jail. We have a parole hearing January 4th and were told when they entered the plea bargain that he would have to serve at least 1/2 of his 20 year prison term before he would even be eligible for parole, well even though that is how the order reads, it’s not how it is happening due to an error or so they are saying. Once again we were lied to and deceived. Please write a letter to the Arkansas Parole Board opposing this ridiculous request for parole. Join me in helping make the statement to others that if you commit the crime, you do the time…..when are we going to start making people responsible for their actions…..you can write to : Arkansas Board of Parole, 105 West Capital Suite 500, Little Rock, AR 72201. ATTN: John Selts. Refer to Ben Thomas ADC#140425. Please help me keep this trash off the street, who knows who will be the next victim.
Happy Birthday Coady!!! You were the best part of me and my whole world!!! The light that you were to me will never shine until we’re together again. I miss and love you so much!!!!
My mom is a survivor,
or so I’ve heard it said.
But I can hear her crying
when all others are in bed.
… I watch her lay awake at night.
and go to hold her hand.
She doesn’t know I’m with her
to help her understand.
But like the sands upon a beach
that never wash away…
I watch over my surviving mom
who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others,
a smile of disguise.
But through Heaven’s open door,
I see tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with my death,
to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her
knows it’s her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom
through Heaven’s open door…
I try to tell her that
Angel protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn’t help her,
or ease the burdens she bears.
So if you get a chance, call to her
And show her that you care.
For no matter what she feels,
my surviving mom has a broken heart
that time won’t ever heal.
This made me think of you Coady, only you know what goes on in Mom’s heart. I love you to infinity and beyond…..always….