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Back in high school I had the nickname Chuck. There was only a few people that would actually call me Charli. Coady and Jordan Dewitt was the reason for my nickname. One night we were all sitting at a party and I ended up being the last girl awake and hanging out with all the guys, which ended up happening a lot. Jordan and Coady decided that I needed to be called Chuck because I was like one of the guys. Ever since that night the nickname stuck.
I remember in junior high when Coady always road with the “slow riders”..the moped crew. Almost everyday he would come over to my house either on the back of Brad Dickey’s or on Brian Lott’s moped’s.
Most of my most memorable junior high and high school moments were spent either with Coady or being around him. He was a very awesome guy with a great personality. That smile was so amazing and I will always remember it. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of Coady. I will and do miss him very much.
This is just a short story about one of the pics on Coady’s home page. It is his Daycare graduation from Mother Goose Daycare. He went there for a couple of years and one of his teacher’s was Ms. Janet. During graduation she had given him a speaking part telling who he was and just something small to share with the parents attending. Well, needless to say his Dad and I were straining our necks to see our Little Man strut across stage and impress the world. Tears gathered in our eyes as we watched our baby grab the microphone and inform everyone that he was not Dennis Coady Defoor, his name was Coady Dennis Defoor… As you can imagine, everyone laughed and he was so serious. He just knew that we had messed up on his name. This was just one of many moments that bring a smile to my face and tears for the precious memories that I am left with.
Coady was one of my son’s best friends in elementary school. They used to spend the night back and forth with one another frequently until Coady moved to Russellville. Coady would still come over and visit some. I remember one Saturday Coady, Josh and Tyler were outside playing. I heard a car’s tires screech. All 3 boys came running into the house and locked the door. As a mom, putting 2 and 2 together, I knew something was up big time. Within 30 seconds I had some angry man banging on the door. I made a point to lock all doors since we lived outside of town. He was banging so hard on the door I just knew it would bust down. We had 3 outside doors and mind you—he went to all 3 doors banging. The boys were scared half to death. I finally told the man if he could calm down I would open the door. I finally opened the door and gathered from his yelling and the story the boys were giving me that they were outside throwing rocks at cars driving by on the road. Apparently one hit his vehicle and he was so scared by the sound of the rock hitting his car that he thought he’d been shot at. The boys apologized and apologized for their behavior and he finally left without wanting to strangle the 3 of them. When Greg got home he wore our boys out with a belt….for Coady he just fussed really hard at. I don’t believe we ever had to worry about them throwing rocks at cars again!! ha I didn’t tell Sherry about this incident but several weeks later she called me and asked about it. I guess Coady got to feeling bad and told his mom what had happened. Coady was such a live wire–full of adventure–full of love–full of smiles! I hate you were taken away from all of us at such a young and tender age of 20. There is a void in all of our hearts without you here. We look forward to seeing your big bright smile again one day when we join you in heaven.
so one time we were playing soccer. and coady was on our team. he is an instigator, that goes without saying. he is one of those guys you hate to play against but one that you love on your team. and this is why..
one time we were playing at old post and i dont remember what team we were playing but the were mouthy. and being that we were in 4th grade, im not really sure that they were mouthy or that we just wanted to be boys and stir things up. and so i remember this kid on the other team that didn’t take too kindly to us and he kept picking at coady. and we all know that coady doesn’t like that too much. well after about 10 minutes of that, i hear coady say watch this, im going to get him good. and so knowing it was coady, something was about to happen. well that kid had the soccer ball(and im not even sure that coady meant to do this but its funny anyway) and coady went to try to kick it and completely missed the ball(but then it is coady and i still hold to the story of coady meant to miss the ball because he would do this) and kicked the kid right in the leg. and we hear this POP! and yeah the kids crying and has a broken leg. coady felt bad for a second and made sure the kid was ok. and when the ambulance left and the game was called, you couldn’t hear anyone laughing as loud as coady. he sure got him good. and it wasn’t that coady was being mean, its that it was really really funny! and we all laughed. but we were boys, so its still funny to us.
but this was just a normal day for coady. he was the boy that you would take detention anyday with him than recess without him.
Coady’s favorite holiday was Christmas, but what child’s isn’t. One of the many memories I have of him as I go through his things, I find the letters that Santa wrote him over the years. Every year he would leave Santa cookies and milk, and Santa would eat his cookies and leave him a letter regarding things that had happened over the year, and about his toys. I remember his eyes being as big as silver dollars as he found his letter, and when we would read it to him. I don’t know how long he believed that Santa was writing the letters, or when he stopped believing. I just remember those innocent eyes taking it all in. All the memories come flooding in during this first Christmas without him. The holiday doesn’t even seem real. I just keep replaying the last Christmas that we had together, and how Michael wanted to take pictures of all of us, but we were all in our pj’s sitting around playing video games and talking, and I kept telling them we would get them later. Life just seems so unfair. I would have never believed that we wouldn’t have a “later” for pictures. I can’t hardly make myself wake up of the morning knowing I have to face another day without him here. It has been 11 long months of hell. The trial or lack thereof was a total joke, the victim and their families have no rights, where is the justice to this world? Although there isn’t punishment severe enough to satisfy me for what that murderer did to Coady, he basically got nothing, Coady’s life was worth nothing according to the justice system. All because someone took his truck, he didn’t even drive over there, the guy just took his truck. I just don’t understand why this happened, but Coady and us are paying the price for something that should never have happened. I just pray that God will give us some sort of peace and understanding and help us deal with our loss that swallows up our whole world. We Miss you Coady and love you forever.
Momma
I am going to add this short little story of when we first moved to the “Big” city of Russellville. After having moved from our little town of Danville, where everyone knew everyone and where everyone lived or used to live and who their momma and daddy’s were, we were a little nervous coming to what we felt was such a large place. It was the beginning of summer break, school had just finished in Danville and we were busy unpacking our belongings. There was this knock on the door and Dennis and I went to see who our visitor was, well to our suprise it was the fire department from next door. They were asking if everything was ok, and Dennis and I were so suprised to see them there, didn’t know if that was customary for them to greet the new neighbors or what, but as we talked, a little blond headed boy poked his head from around the door, and we called him out to the front porch where we were all standing, and you guessed it, he had dialed 911, although he claimed it was clearly an accident, that he had mis-dialed the phone!! I didn’t know whether to giggle or to throttle him. We chose neither, since it was in front of the firemen. We scolded him pretty good and told him not to ever do that again!! To my knowledge he didn’t, or I guess I should say I never knew if he did!!! He could be such a rascal, but could melt your heart with just one smile. Momma loves you!!
I wanted to add another story today to share with everyone just something else about Coady that some may know and some may not know, but this is the only way I know to keep him alive in our hearts and memories. There are so many and I will try not to bore everyone with all of them. As most of you know him from his teenage years, you know he loved to hunt and fish. Although he never took it serious enough to want to get up early to go, there were a few times that he did. This one particular time, he and Darrel were going to go hunting bright and early, I think it was deer hunting, anyway….he had told me the night before that they were going to go and I just thought to myself unhuh yeah right, you won’t get up that early. Never thought any more about it when I went to bed, other than I told Coady to let me know when he left in the morning and to call me when he got home so that I wouldn’t worry about him or Darrell. Well I was deep in a good sleep and I am sure dreaming something really nice, and all of a sudden I feel this shadow come over me and it woke me up, well what I awoke to was this huge oversized camoflouged hulk tapping me on the arm saying “mamma, I’m leaving now” Needless to say I could have strangled the life out of him, but didn’t say a word because he had done just exactly what I had asked him to do. The only thing is that I didn’t know he was going to come tipee toeing into my room in full camo with face mask and all and all his camo coats, masks, hat and all made him look like some huge monster looming over my bed…After my heart nearly came out of my throat and his voice of momma rang in my hears enough to clear my fright, I soon dosed back to sleep with a slight grin on my face I am sure, but I wouldn’t have dare told him how bad he frightened me at that moment, he would have never let me live it down.
As some of you are probably not aware, a few days before the anniversary of his death, his father house was broken into and robbed, they stole all of Coady’s games, his xbox, and his gun that he had hunted with not long before his death. They took his hunting knife and a lot of other belongings that were his and his dad’s. If any of you run across his gun, please let us know…this is the last thing that he did that he enjoyed and it really has alot of sentimental value to me and his Dad. As usual the Sheriff’s office is not offering much help, they are totally useless in crimes, basically they are there for the criminal, so it is up to us to try and track down his things. Any help will be appreciated from the bottom of our hearts.
Coady’s mom
Well, its been a few days and as I scanned more photos to go onto this site, I remember things that nearly bring me to my knees with the pain of my loss. We had so many wonderful times together it is hard for me to imagine a day without you baby, much less that I have been without your beautiful smile for over a year now. It may not be visible for my eyes to see, but it is always in my heart and I can close my eyes and almost feel your breath in my ear telling me you loved me as my eyes watered with all of your cologne that you thought you had to drown yourself in.
I remember your football years, you, McKenzie, Jared, Darrel and however many more you could get into the expedition. There was no way all of you had on seatbelts. All I remember was wall to wall kid and you guys being very loud and silly. Like the time one of you mooned someone going down Parkway as I took you guys to eat before your football game. I recall how horrified that I was when I finally realized what everyone was honking at as I drove down the road with all of you in it, and my real estate tag on the front of my vehicle. I could have crawled in a hole at that moment. You boys just laughed and laughed. I guess that kind of was a pay back when I would get carried away at your games and yell for you, I can see you now turning around and just glaring a hole right through me. Your momma was so proud. My heart couldn’t have swelled any bigger than it was. You always made my heart go pitter patter no matter where or what you were doing. When you walked into a room, my heart would race at what a handsome and smart young man that I had. Even when you were being mischevious or just plain honery, you always put a smile on my face with your beautiful smile. And to my disadvantage, you knew that one simple “I love you momma” could turn any bad situation into your favor. I miss you so much. I want so bad to hear your voice and your laugh, hear your key turn in the door. Sometimes late at night, I will get up thinking I hear your truck backing in to the drive, and I know that the dogs do too, they have gotten up several nights and ran to the door thinking you were home. We all miss you more than you can ever imagine.
As those of you who knew Coady, he loved to fish. You had to watch him to make sure he went to work or school when spring got here, because if you didn’t keep your eye on him, he would skip and grab his pole and tackle box and away he would go. I don’t know that he ever caught a whole lot, but I know he just loved to fish. Probably one of his best summer jobs was the summer he worked at the bait shop at Lucky Landing. The pay wasn’t much, in fact his Dad and I supplemented his income quiet a bit that summer, but he thought it was pretty cool to get paid to fish and run a bait shop.
He got started with the love to fish very early in his life, we lived near relatives that had a huge stocked catfish pond and they loved to have their grandkids and Coady over at feeding time with their poles and the kids thought it was really awesome how the fish would roll the water up and they could catch as many as they were allowed to. I think he got hooked on it then.
I remember one evening, Coady, Joe and I decided to do some night fishing on Lake Dardanelle in the boat. We had a floating light and lots of bait. We got out in the middle of the lake, you could see the fish swimmimg around as well as the snakes….bugs were biting like crazy, and we were looking out both sides of the boat. The snakes kept coming in closer and closer and Coady become uneasy but would never say he was, and I must admit, I didn’t like it much either. I knew I would be clearing that boat and trying to be like Jesus and walk on the water…After several more minutes, I finally told Joe that I was ready to go in, that it just wasn’t fun out there with all those bugs biting, Coady quickly agreed with me and Joe gave in and brought us back to the shore. Needless to say, neither one of us would admit that it was really the snakes that made us return, not the bugs, but that was alright with me.
We never went back out at night in the boat, I think Coady did some night fishing with his buds along the river banks, but certainly not in the boat where you were at the snakes mercy…
We haven’t been fishing in over a year now since Coady has left us, don’t know that we ever will again. Things just don’t mean as much when you don’t have someone to share them with. That was the one thing that he and I both loved to do and I can’t imagine going out without him or not being able to tell him about my day on the lake or listen to his fish tales.
This short little story is about the time that Coady decided to keep a trantula or however you spell it, you know….the big ol hairy spider, he found one and decided it needed to be in one of his creeper keepers. So, he moved his hermit crab in with the other one, they shared one creeper keeper and he put the stupid spider in the other one. He kept them both in his bathroom. The hermit crabs didn’t bother me one bit, but I didn’t like that stupid spider. Then to top it all off, he sent me to the pet store to find out what it ate. The lady there sent me home with some kind of bug, I don’t remember what they were, but whatever it was it had to be gross. Coady kept this thing for quiet a while and we kept going to the pet store for those darn bugs. Well, one morning the dreaded event happened, on getting ready for school (and as you all know Coady and I are not morning people and are NOT sociable of the morning hour) in his rush to get around, he knocked the creeper keeper off in the floor, and that darned spider got loose in my house. Coady was squealing and jumping around and I came running down the hall, by the time I got there, he had run the opposite direction and we had no idea where the thing was….Never did find it….we had some very sleepless nights lying awake and wondering if it was going to crawl into bed with us. I don’t know if it had a heart attack from fright, the dog ate it, or it just escaped from the madhouse, but he never offered to bring another one home and to my knowledge not any of us got bit.
Since we have just returned from Destin, I have to tell you all about the 1st time we took Coady to Orlando and Disney World. We had a wonderful vacation and stayed at the Disney World Resort. On the way down we had gone through Mobile and stopped at the battleship USS Alabama and had fun taking all kinds of pictures. There were tons of pictures taken at Disney, I am sure some of them are posted on this website. I haven’t gotten to the album that they are all in yet, so what you are seeing is just a few of them. Well, now to the story…….on the way back home we come through Gulf Shores and decided to stop and swim and play on the beach…Coady wasn’t very old, 7 or 8 maybe….About the time all the Jaw movies had come out. We would not let Coady watch these movies so all he knew about them was what he had seen on TV and what he had heard people talking about. His Dad had been kidding him about being out there in the ocean where Jaws was, but we had all laughed and gone ahead and gotten our rafts and were busy having a blast riding the waves in to the shore. It was in September, so the water was good and the weather was HOT!!! We had been wave riding for a little bit, Coady on his raft and me on mine and I had gotten off and was walking along beside his, he was laying on his belly doing some belly surfing on his raft when all of a sudden he cleared his raft and jumped in the middle of my head screaming that a shark had bit him. Needless to say my heart was in my throat and I was having a very hard time trying to stay on my feet with the waves knocking us around, trying to hold onto 2 rafts, and get this child uncurled from the top of my head…AND trying to see if something had bit him and what the damamge was!! I was trying to run to the shoreline and check him out all at the same time. He was shaking like a leaf and I couldn’t control him continually trying to climb me. I was trying to get him back on the raft so that I could see if he was really hurt, but he was terrified!!! After what seemed like hours, I got us to the shore and his Dad came up to us as soon as he realized we were having some trouble. After much coaxing to get him to let us look, we discovered that a shark had not bit him, but a jellyfish had gotten him really good!!! Since he was very allergic to stings, we got very concerned about what kind of reaction he would have. We walked forever to the lifeguard stand and they put some spray on it. He finally quieted down and that was all he wanted to do with the beach…he was ready to go home. He never really cared for the ocean and riding the waves after that. He would rather swim in the pool!!! But who could blame him….
Well since we have just had Father’s Day, I thought I would tell you of how we spent most of our Father’s Day week and weekend since almost the birth of Coady. As most know, his Grandpa, Uncles, cousins Randy and Timmy and his Dad all love old cars. Well every year there is a huge car show on Petit Jean Mountain that starts usually on Wednesday and last through the weekend. Well, we usually camped up there, whether in a tent or in someone’s camper, we would try to stay several days up there and enjoy all the old cars, antiques and just seeing people from all over the states. They come from all around. The one that I remember today in particular, and I don’t know why it has come to my mind, I am sure I must have seen some little boy on a bike today that made me think of Coady. Anyway….he had just gotten this really cool bike, I believe it was a mongoose bike that was a really neat red and had flames and stuff on it. It was a little bit more of a bike than what he was used to, but he could ride really good and we felt he was ready for a bigger bike and he really wanted to be like his cousins Randy and Timmy. They had big boy bikes. Well, Coady was riding and Dennis and I were walking behind him in our campground, he was just so proud of himself and I’ll admist he was doing really good. About that time, he turned his head to tell me and his Dad something and he hit a huge rock that was in the middle of the street and when he did, his bicycle flipped end over end and he hit the pavement. It skinned his little knees and elbows, and tore his little precious chin up so bad. He cried just for a little bit and then was ok. My heart was in my throat for hours to come. It always hurt me more than him when he got hurt. He got right back on that bike and road the rest of the way to the camper, skinned little body and all. He had several bikes and I am sure lots of wrecks that I couldn’t begin to know about or recall, but that one stuck in my mind because of his determination to finish what he had started that evening.
July is almost over and summer is here full blown. There isn’t a July that goes by that I don’t think of July 1999. Joe and I were planning on getting married 4th of July which was a Friday or Saturday, I can’t remember which day it was falling on, but that was our plans. The weekend before our “big”day, we decided to take the boat out and go tubing. Coady had never tubed before, and we thought it would be so much fun. We got out there early that morning and had tubed all over the place. Coady was a little skiddish to get out on the tube by himself, he had never done anything like that before, so I agreed to get on Big Bertha with him. We laughed until we thought our sides would split. I know we tubed for hours at a time, laughing and giggling and swallowing tons of nasty lake water….we didn’t care, we were having a good time. As the day went on, the lake got more crowded with boats and jet skis…Joe was having a hard time keeping us out of wakes and avoiding all the boats. We were skooting along at a pretty good clip and Joe was looking back at us, when a huge party barge passed in front of our boat several feet away pulling 3 tubers themselves. I was trying to tell Joe to shut the boat down, but he didn’t understand what I was yelling and he kept going, by this time the wake got to us and threw me and Coady up in the air so high, it felt like 15 or 20 feet, who knows, but Coady and I collided in mid air, his mouth hitting me square in the face and then I hit the water face first. I knew when I hit the water I was hurt, but I could hear Coady yelling that his back was hurting, he just kept yelling “my back, my back” As I surfaced back to the top of the water, I knew I had a bone sticking out the side of my nose and knew I was bleeding, I was trying to tell Coady to let the life jacket float him over to me and for him not to move his legs or anything, to just float. Joe had to go a pretty good ways from us to get around the other boats and to get back to us, he had no idea we were hurt. I kept my head turned from Coady because I didn’t want him to panic if he saw my face. Joe finally got back to us after it seemed like an eternity, and when he pulled up to us, he saw the blood all over my face and I started screaming at him that Coady was hurt to get him up in the boat. He jerked Coady up before I could tell him it was his back. By this time things were getting very fuzzy for me and I told Joe I thought I was going to pass out, I was letting myself float to the back of the boat to come up the ladder, then all of a sudden I hear a splash and Joe had jumped off the boat and into the water without a life vest on, and he can’t swim to save his life, I started yelling at him asking him what the heck he thought he was doing, actually I don’t think I was using the word heck, but anyway I was trying to grab hold of him and get him up the ladder and knew I was going to be sick. We finally got to the emergency room, and 4 hours later, they told me what was already obvious, I had broken the bone in my nose, it had come through the side of my nose and that they had waited too late to do surgery, the swelling was too great. After giving me some kind of sedation, they pushed everything back into place, put a butterfly of somekind on my nose and sent me home with some pain pills. Coady wound up with a bruised back, but nothing more. I had and still have, the perfect imprint of his braces on the place where the bone came through. When I don’t wear makeup, you can see it really well. The next day Coady was the little trooper, he stayed right by his momma’s side and made me lunch and was the perfect nurse. He laid by me and just took care of his momma. The next day was more of the same, except I had run out of the pain pills that the hospital had sent home and Joe had not filled my prescription. I was in terrible pain and knew that I couldn’t wait until he got home from work, so Coady and I teamed up and decided to trek out to Wal-Mart to get my prescription filled. You have to understand our plight. I was black and blue like I had been in a bar fight, my one eye was completely swelled shut and the other one I could see some. So I told Coady he had to be my eyes and I would drive. He was so brave!!!! We made it, and boy did people stare at us, both going and coming, I know they were cussing me driving so slow and when they would pass and see how black and blue I was and Coady was sitting right up on the windshield practically, telling me if I was getting too close to the edge or over the center line, you could see their eyes pop out of their head. And the looks we got in the store were something else…I could barely see anything, but I could see their looks!!! Coady was embarrassed I know, but he stayed right by my side. We made it home safely and in one piece but when Joe got home, we got a huge lecture….My little nurse defended our adventure as pure necessity. After the swelling I went back to the ENT and had the bones pushed back into place again and had my nose put in a bright green splint and to this day, my nose is still crooked from that day, our wedding had to take place at a later date due to my splint, but the fun that Coady and I had on that day, and his loving little hands taking care of his momma those next few days, I wouldn’t have changed one moment for those wonderful times with him. I love him so much and miss him more every day.
Well with school starting Monday, I thought I would tell a story about Coady and his school days. There are lots to tell and I don’t know which one to start with first. The one that comes to mind right at this moment was probably the first or second grade and he had been going to school for several weeks, in fact I think we were getting ready for Christmas break and he came home with tons of stuff cleaning out his bin at school. He had flopped his book bag in the chair, and I was trying to pick up after him. I reached to pick it up and it weighed a ton. I opened it to see what in the world could possibly have been in there, and with Coady you were never really sure, and it was like I hit the mother-lode. Inside his bookbag was a hord of money (mostly quarters and stuff, a man’s watch, matchbox cars and all kinds of stuff….My heart jumped in my throat because I was hoping that he hadn’t been taking things from other kids. I went to his room where he was playing and placed his bookbag on his bed beside him, and I ask him where all the stuff inside there had come from, the money, watches, pencils, erasers, cars and on and on….without missing a beat he told me that CourtneeeeConel (which translated was Courtney McConnell) was paying him to be her boyfriend. I started giggling and could barely keep a straight face. I asked him if he thought that was right, he said he didn’t know, but it was alright with him. I asked him if her momma and daddy knew she was giving him money and other stuff, and was that her Daddy’s watch. He said he didn’t know, all he knew was she was giving him presents to be her boyfriend. After Dennis and I talked to him for a little bit, he finally agreed that he probably should take the stuff back to her. We took it back to school the next day, and I think he did give her back the watch, I am not real sure if her Dad knew where it had went or not, and I don’t know if they spent the quarters and stuff on silly things at the school store or not….I know he came home with lots of cool pencils and erasers and such….He and Courtney remained good friends for a long time. I just wished she could see his smiling face now and laugh and talk about what they did as 1st graders. I love you Coady!!
I have almost let September get by without putting in a story. This month has been very hard and I don’t know why. With school starting and all the kids coming back to college and high school, I just keep being reminded of all the times during Coady’s school years and different things. Football brings back so many memories. I can’t hardly stand to read the paper and see East and West Russellville teams, or the Cyclones. I saw Matt Kitchens picture in the paper today and it made me stop and wonder what you would look like today. All of you boys have grown up into such fine looking young men. I know you are even more perfect there in heaven than you were here, your beautiful smile and pretty eyes. All these memories brought back the time you broke your arm in 8th or 9th grade. Can’t remember which year it was, I guess I am thinking about this now because the other night I was lying in bed reading a magazine and there was this picture of this kitten that looked just like Tigger. I was showing Joe the picture and asking him if he remembered why we got that cat. You were in morning practice and I don’t think you had practiced very much when I got a call on my cell phone from your coach and he said I needed to come to the school that you had broken your arm. I remember asking him if he was sure it was broken and his reply was ” um yeah, I am pretty sure that its broke” I remember pulling up in the parking lot and you and coach sitting on the sidewalk waiting for me, you were smiling but I could tell you were hurting just a little too. We went to Dr. Browns office, and they got you in, I remember Dr. Brown kidding around with you and talking, and him pushing on it, then when they started trying to set it, and you were hurting so bad, and I saw the color drain from your face, the next thing I remembered was that Dr. Brown was having to leave you to come and lay me on the table next to you because I was about to pass out. I never could stand to see you in pain. We got your arm set and cast put on and you were fine and Mom was so dizzy and sick inside. You were the strong one and I was the sissy. We got home and you rested pretty good the first day, but by the second you had started getting restless. I remember you lying on your bed and I came in to check on you and you ask me could we go get you a kitten from the pound. You told me that it would make you feel better. So off we went to the pound without a second thought to pick up our addition to our family. You picked the scrawniest, tiny little yellow ball of fuzz, but that was the one you wanted. You always went for the underdog….there was just something about your heart that always picked the least favorite. Anyway, Tigger turned out to be the best cat we ever had…he and Buttons were best friends and he was one that never really bothered to get on the cars. I don’t guess he had to, he was very spoiled to where he slept. He never was very aggressive like some cats can be and he didn’t scratch or claw you when playing he was just a real gentle cat who basically liked just about everyone, kind of like the boy who rescued him from the shelter.
I don’t know what brought him to mind, maybe seeing the kids in the paper, or just the picture in the magazine, but I think of things like that every minute of every day. I don’t know how I will make it knowing that there are no more “stories” to be made of your life. There will never be grandchildren to share your past adventures with, or laughter echoing in this house. Life here without you is so empty. I miss you and love you more each day. Mom
Another Christmas has come and gone, and I wanted to share another small story with you about Coady growing up. When he was about 3, some friends of ours had gotten a new red corvette, and Jason dressed up as Santa and Michelle drove him out to our house so Santa could visit Coady personally at his house. He was so surprised!!! He climbed up in “Santa’s” lap and was just telling him all his wishes for that Christmas. I didn’t think he would ever settle down to get into bed that night. I am sure he probably told all his friends at daycare that Santa came to visit him at his home. What little boy wouldn’t want Santa to come to his home and the opportunity to get to spend one on one time with Santa.
As the 2nd anniversary of Coady’s death has passed on the 16th and his 22nd birthday has come and gone, I thought I would share a story of one of his birthday parties. Coady always had large birthday parties growing up. We seemed to invite every child in his class and then some that weren’t. There were kids everywhere!!! With his birthday being in January, having it outdoors was not an option, so as his friends circle grew, the need to find a place large enough to have everyone run around became an event in itself. We had one at McDonald’s, this was not his favorite. We had one at Chuckie Cheese in Ft. Smith, he had fun and all the other kids had fun, but me and his Dad trying to keep up with all the kids running around was a whole new game, then trying to make sure you made it back with all that you left with on top of bringing back all the gifts practically required a uhaul!!! Then we starting renting the community center at home and this would allow for the kids to have plenty of space to play games and run and jump.. We had pinata’s, musical chairs and all kinds of races. Looking back over some of the pictures of their faces, you wonder where all the innocence went, what were their dreams and how different life was when they were that age. Coady always loved to share his stuff and I don’t think he ever grew out of that. There were times his Dad and I swore we wouldn’t buy him another thing, because half the time someone else had it, whether it was clothes, his bike, his stereo or whatever, if someone wanted to borrow it or play with it, he certainly didn’t have a problem with doing so….he had such a loving and giving heart. I miss those beautiful eyes and that wonderful smile that was what everyone noticed about Coady…he was so free with it, and could melt your heart from the inside out just by sharing it with you. I want to dissolve into tears each time I think of not having any grandchildren without those same features. My life feels so empty and hopeless now. He had so much to give and was robbed of that opportunity. Please God, don’t let that murderer go unpunished. Please make him pay for robbing us of that smile and of more birthday memories of Coady.
Since it is spring break and all the kids are heading out, I want to tell you about one of our spring break get-a-ways!!! He and I went on a camping adventure one spring, Joe had to work and couldn’t get away, so he pulled the 5th wheel up to Heber Springs at a camp site there and Coady and I spent the week camping out and trout fishing…We had the entire camper to ourselves and ate when we wanted, slept when we wanted, explored the trout farms and streams at our leisure. We took Shadow with us on this little adventure and he basically took every step that Coady took…he thought he had to be involved in everything that Coady did whether he thought it interesting or not….He always wanted to go on the long walks we took exploring, but by the time we would be ready to head back to camp, he would be pooped and would just sit down and balk, he wouldn’t budge another inch and Coady or me would wind up carrying his little chubby butt right back to camp. Every time we said we were not doing it again, but then he would beg and we would give in….This one day in particular, Coady had gotten up and decided he wanted to try this new trout bait that he had bought. We were right on the shore of the river, so it was just a short walk. I took Shadow on a leash and I grabbed a book and a blanket and prepared to enjoy my time by the water as well. Coady fished and fished, and I guess being so young, he let more get away with his new bait than he did getting them in to the bank. That and he just like to reel and cast more than anything. Well, all of a sudden, I hear him squeel and he is tugging on his pole, Shadow being the guard dog that he was, jumped up and pulled his leash out from under the blanket, he was content up until then to just lay beside me on the blanket and watch, but once Coady seemed excited, so was he!!! Before I could get myself up and over to Coady, he had jerked his trout onto the bank and before he or I could get to it, Shadow had pounced on this intruder!!! We liked to have never got him to turn loose of the fish and by the time we did, needless to say it was a goner….Coady didn’t want to eat it, he had just intended to catch and release it…he was really upset with our Shadow man…he tried and tried to revive the poor thing in the water, but to no avail, then he was in a tizz over what we were going to do with it….I knew I certainly wasn’t going to clean it or whatever you do to trout…luckily this man that had observed our little circus, came up to us after Coady couldn’t revive his fish and ask what we were going to do now, and Coady gave the man the fish and we gathered our things and went back to camp for hot dogs and chips….needless to say we didn’t fish any more that week, Joe came on Friday and we did lots of exploring and checking out all the things we had found earlier….As long as I can remember, Coady loved to fish….
Coady, I’ll never forget you as long as I live. You were my best friend and that will never change. We always had so much fun together. I thought that when you moved it would be the end of our friendship, but luckily it wasn’t. I still remember sneaking out of your house one time and your mom caught us. I think we always caused a little mischief, probably a lot. You’ll always be in my thoughts. I was in a bad car wreck that almost took my life and wiped my memory almost clean, but through everything I’ve been through I will never forget that you’re the best friend I ever had. and I never will forget that. I love you like a brother
I stumbled across this page, it was a related link on a page, a friend of mine’s little girl is sick, and well this page was linked to it. I would like this to go to Coady’s mom.
Ma’am you are one wonderful mother. I read these stories, and I hear your adoration for you son and it just touches my heart so deeply.
I have a little girl who is five. I can not imagine loosing her. I am so sorry that your son was taken from you. You write so well, I can feel you joy pain sorrows through the stories you tell… You are keeping your son alive. I am a complete stranger, but I can see who your son is through your words. You really should write a book about him… You could do it. You write beautifully. It would keep his memory alive for longer than anything else could. I just wanted to reach out to you and tell you that your loss has broken my heart. I hurt for you so much.
I can only imagine the pain you go through every moment. I hope that the man who did this to your son does answer for what he did. But that will not make your pain go away. I pray for your healing, I pray that God gives you strength, for all those empty moments…..
Summer is here and with it all the fun stuff that kids and family enjoy doing. Coady loved all things outdoors, you name it, he enjoyed it, swimming, fishing, riding bikes, jumping on the trampoline and whatever else that teenagers do when they get older….(I am sure I don’t want to know.) I will share with you his love of camping…Coady loved to camp and for several years we would camp on Petit Jean Mountain for the big car show on Father’s Day weekend. We went up there every year from the time Coady was a baby until his early teens, even after he became a teenager, his Dad, Grandpa, Uncle and cousins continued to go every year to check out all the old cars and stuff. I remember one year we were camped in a tent and it rained during the night, I think I slept in the car that night, but Coady and his dad, being the troopers that they were, stayed in the tent and slept through the night. I can remember having him up there and him being too small to walk, we pulled him in his little red wagon all over the place. He had a pillow and his fuzzle, a couple of toys and he was set. He would ride, then nap, but he was having a ball. We still have his wagon to this day. I can just see his smiling little face beaming at us from his “ride.” Sometimes he would get a little tired of riding and want to get out and toddle around, but most of the time, he enjoyed seeing everything going on around him and not having to worry about how he was getting there…you had to watch close, because if he got close enough to grab things, it would wind up in his wagon with him, and then when you get down the paths and look down, here is all this stuff and you have no idea where or which vendor or booth he picked it up from. Then there was a time when some friends of ours camped with us and one night we decided to have outdoor movie night, we brought the tv and vcr outside, hooked it up to the power supply outdoors, made pallets, had a fire in the firepit and watched a movie and made smores. I remember hearing the kids laugh and laugh at the movie and how excited they were to be watching an outdoor movie, I am sure they had never been to a drive-in before, or I know at least that Coady hadn’t ever been, so that was as close as he ever came to one. We spent days at the pool, we hiked, and fished, rode bikes and just enjoyed each day and whatever it would bring. He loved being outdoors. I can’t hardly stand to think that he will never have the joys that I experienced of taking his children camping.
Fall has arrived and with the falling leaves and the holidays fast approaching, my heart aches especially hard for what I have lost. My holidays while filled with wonderful friends and busyness with family gatherings, my heart is empty inside for what I yearn for and can never have again here on this earth….my Trick or Treat is not the same without Coady, and I feel the loss of not ever having the opportunity to have grandbabies ringing my doorbell yelling trick or treat. My Thanksgiving table is missing a very important person, one that I was so thankful for and made my life complete…now it will never be complete, Christmas, while celebrating God’s wonderful gift of Jesus, leaves me feeling so sad because the gift he gave me was taken from me way too soon. I will never have the opportunity to watch my son open another gift or smile a mischevious “I know what is in there” smile, or watch grandbabies open gifts on Christmas morning. Then the new year begins and with it the reminder of how my world stopped on that cold January day. If only I could go to sleep in the fall and wake up in the spring, I think I could cope a little better. But, as I have found out, life does go on whether you want to participate or not, there are beautiful sunsets, God’s glorious beauty in the falling leaves and the Joy of the Christmas gift that God sent. I pray each day for peace and a reason to go on. Each day I see something beautiful and know that God is there, holding my hand and walking me through this valley. With every season there are so many reminders of Coady and memories that we have, that is one thing that the murderer can’t take from me is my memories. I will not let him take the happy times that I shared with Coady from me, Coady will live on in our hearts forever…we will never forget.
Today is Coady’s 23rd birthday. Even though he isn’t here with us, we are still going to celebrate his life. Coady was a larger than life person that had the most wonderful smile of anyone I ever knew…he could light up the room with just one grin…and he could melt his momma’s heart and knew how to use that grin to get by with lots of stuff….there are so many stories to tell of birthday parties….we always had a big party with all the kids coming and having a good time. We had them at chuckie cheese, McDonald’s, our local community center where they could run and play. With his birthday being in January, a pool party was never possible. Having it at the park wasn’t possible either, so we were always trying to come up with something different. It was always fun and he had a great time with all his friends. From the time he turned one until the last big one we threw, there were more kids than you could count….then came the “cool” years where he didn’t want the parties or the cake or all the fuss, wanted to hang out with his friends!!! I thought it would be a relief sort of to not have to deal with cakes, goodie bags, some kind of games, etc….but as the day approaced, I felt such a loss….The love of my life didn’t need his mom or dad to celebrate his birthday….we weren’t cool any more….That was just the beginning of me realizing that he was growing up right in front of my very eyes….I would turn around and he would be grown…I never dreamed I would turn around and he would be gone. There isn’t a day that goes by that I can’t see his smile or hear him say “Mom” over something I said that either embarrassed him or made him laugh…So today, let’s all think of something that would make him smile that we remember about him and keep his memory and his smile going forever. Happy 23rd Birthday Coady….your momma loves you to infinity and beyond.
Valentine’s Day has come and gone and another year without my favorite Valentine. Although he will always be in my heart. It’s funny how holidays can be so hard but can give you such bittersweet memories after you lose someone you love. They just are never the same again, or they haven’t been for me. He was my reason for living. I want to share one of my most favorite Valentine Day stories with you. Coady couldn’t have been maybe 3 or 4 at the time, I know he wasn’t in school, but because of daycare and preschool he knew what the fuss was all about. Since he was a lover of reese’s cups, we didn’t mess with the chocolate heart boxes full of candy he didn’t like, we went for the huge bags of Reese’s minature cups and some kind of card and toy!!! But on this occassion, he wanted to get his mom some special valentine, so his Dad took him to the dollar store and let him shop with his money!!! Being Daddy always got the big stuff, Coady needed to add his own gift. So Dennis took him shopping!! He said he shopped and shopped and picked up things and would carry it around, then put it back and get something else. He finally settled on this rabbit that could hold a candle or potpouri, and he picked out some potpouri that he thought smelled good and bought a balloon and a card for his momma. I remember his little chest all proud and sticking out as he brought that gift to me that morning. Up until the day he died, that rabbit sat on my dresser or night stand so that I could see it every day. After he was taken from me, I packed it away with the card, and put it with the balloon that I had saved all those years. I still think about that little resin rabbit that sits in my closet and every now and then I get the stuff out of the closet and relive each memory that they bring. My heart breaks that there will be no new memories made, just memories from the short life that he had. Enjoy each minute that you have with those you love, you never know when it will be your last. Momma loves you Coady.
Well it’s been a while since I posted a story on here. I want to encourage all of you that may be reading these to please put your stories or a favorite moment on here. You can also post messages to Coady on the other tab. There are so many little stories that I could share, if I repeat myself, I am sorry!!! I try to read what I have written so that I don’t repeat myself, but sometimes I can’t get all the way through them. In this story, I will not give the names out because I don’t want to embarrass anyone, and it is such a cute story. Coady and this little girl remained friends all throughout his short life. But the story began over Christmas break when the kids had to bring all their stuff home from school for the holidays. He was in maybe the 1st or 2nd grade and he had emptied all his stuff into his backpack and brought it home and just dumped it in the chair. Well as the day and weekend wore on, I finally got around to sorting thru his stuff and putting away the things he would need or wanted to keep and threw away allnofnhis collection of gum wrappers, broken crayola’s and paper footballs!!! It finally came down to me sorting thru his backpack, and I picked it up and almost fell over trying to carry it, curious, I slowly opened the zipper, not sure what I would find, and to my surprise, there was a large ziplock bag full of quarters, nickels, dimes, a watch, some novelty erasers, mechanical pencils and lots of miscellaneous items!! I was shocked, I was afraid Coady had taken these items from someone….I sat there for a few minutes thinking about how to handle this. I finally called him in to the living room and asked him where all the stuff had come from, he shrugged his precious little shoulders and said just so non-plussed, “well momma, (little girl’s name) is paying me to be her boyfriend!!! He then proceeded to march back down the hall to his bedroom. I thought his Dad and I were going to fall out in the floor laughing so hard. After we composed ourselves, we picked up the phone and called her Mom and Dad and asked if they were missing some items, when told the story, they laughed as hard as we did!! We returned their watches and change (probably her allowance) and they were none the wiser!!! They were never boyfriend and girlfriend throughout jr high or high school, but they were friends throughout!!!
Been a while since I have posted a story, so many of them have been of him when he was little, but sitting here watching buttons and mollie dream(those are our Shitzu’s) brought to mind all the times he would tease and torment these two little mischief makers. It was hard to tell who liked to pester who the most. Buttons has always been a greedy little thing with her toys, or I guess I should say, anyone’s toys, because she thought if it was stuffed, it was hers…but he would lay on them and she would throw down and whine and wallow around, jump up, cirle him, throw back down and then start scratching at him. This could go on for what seemed like hours, but in reality it was probably 20-30 minutes….this was almost a nightly occurance. Mollie on the other hand, never played with toys, but she would run up to where they were playing and bump Buttons out of the way with her rather wide bootie, and throw down on her back for Coady to rub her belly. If he ignored her, she just kept inching closer and getting right up in his face, then he would snuggle her up close on her back and she would get so mad, she would grouch and growl and tremble, you would think she was going to tear his head off….he would finally give in and let her up, she would run off just grouching….then in about 5 minutes here she would come for another round….They both would lie in wait for Coady to forget to shut his door or put the baby gate back up, if he slipped up the least bit, they were in his room leaving him little surprises in his shoes, or on his clothes, just anything that had his scent on it….then it would be just a matter of moments before I would hear him yell “MOM!!!!!” I would tell him that they were just paying him back for pestering them…..then off to the laundry we would…..This went on just about every other night. When Coady was taken from us, for about 6 months afterward, they would lay in front of his door waiting for him to come out and play. They knew something was wrong and missed his attention. We weren’t the only ones mourning the loss. Sometimes when they are laying at my feet dreaming, I wonder if they are dreaming t about Coady…..I know I do. Love you Coady…